What is your conflict style? That may be a question you’ve been asked before, maybe in a class or a professional development seminar. We typically think of the five common conflict styles identified in the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model: Competing, Avoiding, Accommodating, Collaborating, and Compromising. Thomas-Kilmann uses these types against two additional categories – assertive and cooperating.
While we may have one style that we feel resonates more with us, odds are good that you have used each of these styles in various settings. I often joke that if we are fighting over a premium parking spot in a crowded lot you will see my competing (low cooperation, high assertiveness) style emerge. But at the end of a long day when it’s time to make a decision about dinner I’m much more likely to be accommodating (high cooperation, low assertiveness) of my dining partner’s wishes. In professional leadership roles I work really hard at being collaborative (high cooperation, high assertiveness) to make sure everyone’s needs are being met. So what is my conflict style? Depends on the situation and the relationship(s) of the parties involved.
Do you feel like you gravitate toward one conflict style over the others or is it mostly based on the situation at hand?
You can learn more about the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model in this short video.